# 10 -- Golfer: " I Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
# 9 -- Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
# 8 -- Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
# 7 -- Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
# 6 -- Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
# 5 -- Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - It's a compass."
# 4 -- Golfer: "How do you like my game ?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
# 3 -- Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
# 2 -- Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
And the # 1 Best Caddy Comment.....
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.
Today’s math question: How many times does 60 go into 21? Answer: depends on the Viagra dose.
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Dunlop from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the tee.
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker (also see Chapter 8.
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank.
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger.
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings.
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management.
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round.
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the water
Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th.
Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome.
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee.
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent.
Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt.
Chapter 16 - When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever.
Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
Chapter 18 - Rules Interpretation: "Loss of Ball is Penalty Enough..."
Chapter 19 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer from the Cart Girl
and give Her a $3 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff
the Bartender
Top Ten Worst Summer Jobs
#9. Columbus Clippers’ gift shop manager
#8. Hooker at a Star Trek convention
#7. U.S. census worker in charge of counting Starbucks
#6. Sidewalk Santa in Bexley
#5. Siegfried and/or Roy
#4. Managing public relations for Lindsey Lohan and/or Paris Hilton
#3. Former Gov. Taft’s caddy
#2. Satellite dish salesman, Amish country
#1. Outa Sync audience member